Channeling Giovanni - Rambling thoughts from outside the cha cha...

Me: Interesting, peculiar, awash in contradiction, sensitive, easily distracted, odd, thoughtful, odd, political, philistine, romantic, laid back, clever, sweet, puppy dog, introspective, hyper, odd, Bohemian, untrendy, jock, and all around good guy.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Gay community should begin policing itself for inappropriate behavior

I am often surprised at just how predujice gay men can be. I ran in to an acquaintenance at the gym the other day; I must say he is one of my sluttier friends. On a nearby TV, there was a special on alleged police brutality in New Orleans during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. All of the victims were black. My friend commented that "the black community needed police itself and that internally they should make an effort to behave more responsibly."
This, I found really, really ironic coming from a guy that has been twice arrested for having sex in a public park and having a warrant sworn against him saying he is not allowed to come on the premises of our largest mall for an entire year due to his activities in one of the bathrooms.
I reminded him that he himself had been the target of police action to which he responded that was merely because the police department was homophobic and picked on gay people.
If you apply his "black people should police themselves" to the gay community, then I certainly agree. If gay people want to be more generally accepted by the "red states", we need start by cleaning up our own act. One of the things that people like Fred Phelps use against us is the actions of a very few.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Friendship with older gay men

I find the younger gay guys in the "community" to be very reticent about having older friends. Even when I was in the "young" category, I always welcomed older friends. At 43 years old, the people I consider my best friends (besides my boy fiend) are 33, 38, 41, 44, 55, and 60. I have always gravitated towards people older than me for friendship (even though I'm usually attracted to younger guys for relationship material).

I have always sought out friends that were smarter and more experienced than myself. Getting through life is difficult enough without being able to rely on friends that have "been there, done that."

However, the thing that gets my goat about many older gay men is they continually are "on the make". I noticed this when I was younger and just recently sitting in a gay bar in Paris. I was having a great conversation with a couple of guys that were both quite a bit older than me. The both hit on me and one of them just would not take no for an answer. The "sorry, I'm in a monagamous relationship" answer just did not cut it. Even the "sorry, even if my relationship were open or if I cheated on my boyfriend, I'm just not attracted to older guys" answer did not cut it either.

Any older guys that are reading this, in my humble opinion, younger guys need you. They need your insight, your experience, and your knowledge. Unwanted sexual advances are not needed and they keep younger men from forming friendships with you. Trust me, if that younger man is interested in older men, he will let you know.

Friday, August 18, 2006

You have not changed a bit!

My high school's graduating class held its 25th reunion this past summer. Hard to believe that I have been out of high school that long. Thank goodness, I have been out of high school that long, though!!! It seems like another lifetime. Like many gay men, high school was NOT a fun time. I was tempted to go to the reunion, but decided not to since I have already done nearly 175,000 airline miles this year.

They published a web page of the people that attended the reunion and their photos and the photos of some of us that sent . Thank goodness they included the names. I did not recognize ANY of the guys. Fat, bald, ugly mustaches, and even a mullet. Two of the girls I barely knew e-mailed me and told me my photo was the only one they recognized without having to look at the caption.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A letter to Dr. Laura Schlesinger

About once every 3 months, someone sends me this. This time I decided to blog it. I love this letter and just how practical Leviticus and the Old Testament is in the modern world. And, oh, I just love that Dr. Laura Schlesinger!
______________________
On her radio show recently, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.

Dear Dr. Schlesinger:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffma Ed.D.
Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia Charlottesville, VA 22904-4273

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

George Michael back in the parks

George Michael is at it again! George, can't you just stay out of the parks? Surely a guy as good looking and rich as you are can find lots of guys of your type without resorting to desparate measures. "Our culture" indeed. Give me a break.

The tabloid News of the World reported that George Michael was found "trolling for sex" at Hampstead Heath park in London last weekend. The paper's photographs show a seemingly upset Michael at a park at night, alongside a photo of the man who claims to have "hooked up" with the pop star in the underbrush. The man is described in the paper as a "pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver" named Norman Kirtland. Kirtland tells the paper, "I don't even like George Michael.... OK, I admit I was there for sex. But I'm astonished a man as famous as George should even think about doing it. It's potentially so dangerous." Michael himself is quoted as saying to the paper that night, "Are you gay? No? Then fuck off! This is my culture! I'm not doing anything illegal. The police don't even come up here anymore." (The Advocate)

All this junk mail! What to do? What to do?

I get 4 or 5 credit card offers a week in the mail. Capital One is really intent on me getting one of their credit cards! One of my housemates gets 2 or 3 A DAY! Sometimes the same companies over and over again.

I have started taking all of this unsolicited junk, opening it, looking for the postage paid envelope, stuffing it full of the things they sent me (less, of course, anything that can identify me) and putting it back in the mail to the sender. Those companies then have to pay the return postage and pay for someone to open up the returned "junk mail".

A few years ago, I went out and signed up for all of the conservative Christian newsletters I could find (Christian Coalition, American Family Association, etc...) and have them send me their junk (which I trash). If they send me donation envelopes, I send them back empty.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Trash cans take on a whole new meaning when...

I had no real appreciation for just how bad something could smell until I had a small child in the house. I now have a child in diapers in my house. My trash can smells worse than a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez. I pity the fool that wants to try identity theft on me and go "dumpster diving." Uugggghhhh

Monday, August 07, 2006

David versus Goliath

From Snarks Review:
"Israeli Defense Forces on Saturday announced that Hezbollah has killed 78 Israelis (45 soldiers, 33 civilians, and with 600 wounded) since July 12, when the cross-border conflict began. In Lebanon, the Lebanese Security Forces report that the Israeli’s have done disproportionately more damage, with 683 Lebanese dead (an unknown amount of Hezbollah, 683 civilians--many of them children, and with 2,359 wounded). For the United Nations to fail to respond to this grossly disproportionate use of force on Israeli’s part is unpardonable, and demonstrates clearly the impotency of that failed organization."

This is clearly a case of David versus Goliath. And Israel is using weapons purchased in part with the $3,000,000,000 a year they get from the U.S. for military funding.

This link popped up in a newsgroup. The pictures are graphic and disturbing. What is going on there is horrifying and the rest of the world is sitting back and letting Israel slaughter children. The U.S. press is being disturbingly silent on this. Why? My theory is that what Israel is doing in Lebanon is too similar to what the U.S. did in Afghanistan and Iraq.

http://sms4collegemoney.com/geeklog/public_html//index.php?topic=Lebanon

Armistead Maupin is back!

Armistead Maupin is back! I know some of you folks cut your teeth on Tales of the City, just like me. I actually lived in San Francisco when I read the books, so they have a special place in the cuckles of my tasteful little heart. :-)

The new movie Night Listener is from a novel that he wrote. And, is nothing like Tales of the City or even Maybe the Moon. Read the PlanetOut interview with Armistead Maupin.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Gay Pride? Obsolete? Albatross? Outmoded?

Is Gay Pride obsolete? Or just the celebrations? Are the Gay Pride celebrations doing us (the Gay and Lesbian community) more harm than good?

I have thought so for years, but I just recently read an article in the Advocate that I agree with 100%. The article was written by a straight guy (Michael Levine) whose observation of "gay pride" was the 20 second national newsblurbs that we see on CNN, Fox, ABC, CBS, etc... each year duing pride celebrations. Drag queens, leather daddies, and floats in the shape of a giant penis. The full text of his article is shown below.

Is the image we are so proud of? Is this the image we want the red states to see? Or do we even care?

Apparently, the "gay press" and organizers of gay pride events think so. Gay pride week has become a celebration of booze, strippers, drag queens, circuit parties, and sex. And this is what we are telling the younger men and women that are now coming out that being gay is all about. Surely we have more in common as a "community". In just a few minutes, I came up with a list that most gays and lesbians have in common other than parties and an attraction to the same-sex.
  • Rejection (or fear of rejection) by family, friends, and co-workers
  • Being proud of who we are and who we are with, but being unable to tell anyone
  • Handling being gay at work?
  • Trying to make dating or relationships work in the face of adversity (and the male urge to roam)
  • Being on the outside (or inside) of a clique
  • Temptations of the gay “party life style”
  • Dealing with religious, sibling, and parental acceptable
  • A history of men and women like us that have struggled with the same issues and become successful (and sometimes famous) anyway

Gay Pride was originally a celebration of who we are and that "that is okay." Somehow it has mutated in to "we are all drag queens, leather daddies, pretty / effeminate boys in thongs, and masculine women on motorcycles". Yet none of those things are who I am nor who my gay friends are. I am a teetotaler, out, successful, professional, "guy next door", partnered, and happily monogamously person. I have never put on a dress, never wore chaps, and sure never put on a thong in public (at 43, I'm sure THAT would be felony!)

Gay Pride has never represented me and I'm finding that it does not represent my friends. I suspect a lot of people feel that way. And that is why so many celebrations are as pathetic as the one in Honolulu.

Next year, I challenge the organizers of gay pride celebrations to organize an event that more accurately represents who we are, better helps us to live and work within our communities, and gives more of a sense of community.

I have a few ideas, of course. Rather than organizing a flambouyant parade, reserve space in a large park that includes places for meetings, discussion groups, and entertainment. Have speakers, seminars, stand-up comics, karaoke contests, fashion shows, and live entertainment (not lip syncing.) Need ideas for some sessions or seminars? How about some like this:

  • Death and Taxes: Legal issues for Gay and Lesbian couples
  • Till death do us part? Maintaining a long term relationship for gay men
  • Handling substance abuse in loved ones
  • Coming out
  • Being religious and being gay? Mutually exclusive?
  • Being out at work
  • Health and sports (finding friendly leagues)
  • Gay and Lesbian Couples and property / home ownership
  • Responsible consumerism in your community
  • Gay friendly travel destinations
  • Same sex marriage and domestic partnerships: Where do we stand?
  • Homosexuals and history: Famous people
  • The Internet: How it has changed the gay community

Thanks to the Advocate's weird web site, I cannot provide a link to the article, so below is the full text.

Is pride good PR?

A-list Hollywood publicist Michael Levine assesses the public relations impact of pride festivals and parades.
By Michael LevineFrom
The Advocate June 6, 2006


It is undeniably true that it is difficult to be gay in our society. Cultural, religious, and in some cases governmental disapproval of homosexuality by the majority infects the daily lives of gay men and lesbians, and it can seem that the pressure from all sides to deny one’s identity is overwhelming and unrelenting.

The need for release, for freedom, is unmistakable. But gay pride festivals in cities around the country can sometimes do more harm than good.

I say this as a sympathetic heterosexual who makes his living in public relations and has done so for more than 20 years. When I discuss the impact of gay pride demonstrations and parades, it is not from a standpoint of moral disapproval or even political ideology. I’m assessing the impact made on society as a whole—the good or damage done to the cause of gay identity and rights in the United States—by the spectacle that gay pride demonstrations can make.

From where I’m standing, it’s not doing a lot of good.
Believe me, I understand that it must feel wonderful to take to the streets with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people who, finally, agree with you and understand your life. I realize that even in today’s less closeted society it has to be a joyful moment to stop trying to play by the majority’s rules and simply acknowledge one’s own identity: to be you.

But it comes with a cost. Society’s mind-set in the 21st century is determined by the media, in particular television. And in a 24-hour news cycle, when entire networks have to fill a full day, every day, with current happenings, the impact of gay pride festivals will be reduced to a 20-second piece of videotape that will be played and replayed multiple times during the day until something new, something else that makes “good television,” replaces it.
And if you think that 20-second clip is going to be a reasoned assessment of the plight of an oppressed minority, a sound bite from a gay man or lesbian who makes a thoughtful point about demanding an equal place in our country, you are living in a very different society than I am.

What’s going to be shown on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, and for all I know Aljazeera, is a montage of drag queens, leather enthusiasts, and floats in the shape of a penis—all parading down Main Streets in major cities with the implied message to the red states in Middle America that this is on its way to an avenue near you.

We can debate for years whether this is an accurate or appropriate depiction of most gay men or lesbians. But I can tell you from a strict public relations viewpoint that it will not—ever—help the cause of gay equality in the United States.

When Muslims in this country argue that the media (in news or fictional television and film) depict only the most radical of their religion and thereby distort the view that most Americans have of all Muslims, they have a point. Such portrayals make for vivid images, something that will cause a viewer to stop channel surfing and take a look—and that’s what television networks are trying to do. But it doesn’t necessarily paint an accurate picture or provide comprehensive information about complex issues.

You’d think that a 24-hour news cycle would offer more depth, as news organizations would have much more time than they once did—30 minutes a night until the 1980s—to delve into complex issues. But what has happened is that the news has become polarized, and the extra time is generally given to loud political debate (if one cares to use the most polite term for the screaming that goes on). Discussion of issues is left by the wayside.

I don’t argue for one second that gay people should not be proud of who they are, nor that they should deny their true identities for the sake of society. But I don’t think that wild gay pride celebrations and demonstrations in public serve well the cause they claim to support.
They make good television, but they certainly don’t make for better public policy.


Levine is founder of the prominent Los Angeles public relations firm Levine Communications Office. He is the author of 17 books, the latest of which is Broken Windows, Broken Business (Warner). Find out more at BrokenWindows.com.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

San Diego - Homophobia central lately?

San Diego seems to have become homophobia central. After several men were beaten with a baseball bat near Balboa Park after the Gay Pride celebration, a 42-year old security guard has been beaten. "Police report that Tuesday night the guard was attacked by three boys "all about age 15" as they made anti-gay remarks. The guard says that the teens threatened him earlier in the day and returned that evening after they discovered that he had reported their threats to police. The guard was not badly hurt, and the attack lasted for only a short period. When police arrived, the attackers ran, but were later arrested. The assault is being treated as a hate crime." (from Towelroad)

Hate crimes and gay bashings occur all the time, but San Diego has always struck me as more tolerant than say, Dallas or Cincinatti.

I wonder if things like the media coverage that Gay Pride now gets tends to trigger such things. The old media adage goes "any media coverage is good coverage as long as they spell your name right" may not apply to Gay Pride. Gay Pride celebrations now get national media coverage, but the coverage is usually a 15 second video spot of drag queens, bull dykes, leather daddies, twinks, and a float shaped like a penis. This just fuels the red states "anti-gay" rhetoric. [Hey! Stop throwing things, it is just my opinion.]

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Iraq parliament takes a vacation

Iraq's government IS modeled after the U.S. government! This week, with terrorist events in Baghdad at an all time high, the Iraqi Parliament took a cue from President George W. Bush and took a month long vacation. Is it my imagination or does Bush take more vacations than just about anyone in the country? Or is he just on vacation when the country is in crisis?

"Ah yes, I read the bible all the time. Looking for loopholes." W.C. Fields